dear...... whoever is out there, i guess?
this is a total shot in the dark. i have no idea if anyone is going to find this, let alone respond. but its been so long, i cant keep track anymore... i think im going insane. i need someone to talk to, even if its just the void.
i dont know where i am. it feels like an empty blank void of nothing. i dont really know.... if i am? my body feels like it doesnt exist anymore. like im just a loose consciousness. but i can still feel the cold? and i think, therefore i am. so i guess that must mean im dead. it would make the memories make sense...
speaking of memories, i still cant remember much of anything from my life (or my death). theres nothing but a few images flashing in my minds eye... cold steel, and pain, and
blood oh god so much blood
and yet, a shimmering night sky... a rooftop view of an entire city... and...
but who? who, in all of what was once my life, could be so special as to be at the scene of my death? it must be someone i loved a lot. someone really, really important to me in my life.
dear whoever you are,
i cant believe i forgot about them. death is no excuse. they meant everything to me. i did everything for them. and what was my final act of service?
traumatizing them for the rest of their lives, probably. god, there was so much blood, i
i hate myself for letting them see me like that; although im sure in the moment it must have brought me comfort to see them there. i wish i could see them again. i wish i could apologize, and say goodbye one final time... did i even get to say goodbye? i wish i could actually remember what happened, instead of just... feeling it. i cant imagine what kind of freak accident could have done that much damage-
was it... even an accident, in the first place?
my incorporeal gut is telling me something, but i dont like what its implying
could i really have been... no
i cant believe it. who would. why? how?
this cant be it. theres no way i was..murdered? oh god. just writing it...i know. i feel it. i feel ill. if having them witness me die in an accident was bad enough, this... knowing them, god knows what they must have done once i passed
who could have possibly MURDERED me? i never made any enemies. did i? hell, i dont remember enough to say. i think... i think i need to stop thinking about this for a while. its all too much. i think ill remember when im meant to. for now, ill keep focusing on the happy memories i have, of them... they were the only true solace in my life, and they will be in my death too. i miss them.
well, ill come back when (if) any other memories resurface.
see you then.
Dear whomever it may concern,
This will be my final "journal" entry.
I remember now.
I have work to do.
-    ̵̢̡̛͖̤̱͇̣̖̺͙̯͎̓̏̒̔̉̐̊͒̅̆̓͌̋̅̓̌́͐̀͋͐̀̎̓̈́͠/̴̡̧̢̧̡̡̛̛̛͎̬̜̜͇͈̜̥͓̺͔̱̖̺̜̳̭̺͈̩̠͈̖͍̼̭̞̳̠̼͈̭͉̤̫͍̗͎͓̥̲̦̔̈́̅̔̌̅͛̈̈́͐͑̓̌̀̈̍̇̇́͛͋̾̄͆͂̑̽̍͛̓̆͗̑͊̃̃͗̄̌̕̕͜͠-̷̢̢̡̢̧̣͓̥̳͎̖͈̦͚̘̩̠̘̠͎̤̫̰̠̥̩̣̣̪̰͍̲̲̤̰̗̖̹̪͈̦͂́̽̐́̈́͜͜\̷̧͓͙̲͈̺͚̫̺̻̣̦͇̟͚͈͉̭̼̩͎̯͔̋͒͐̋͒̕|̸̧̟͇̻̻̩̞͗̓̈́͒͛̑͛̋͐́̑̾̇̚̕͜͜)̷̧̢̹̬̹̠͚̣̯͍͙̻͉̦̮͎̱̩̖̱̻͕̩̤̩̯̲̝̩͈̼̖̣͚̺̺̼͓̲̪̘̤̠̯̫͚̔̌͐͂̓̑̂̏̽̐͗͆͗̓͘͘͝͝r̷̨̛̛̹̗̱̭̗̐̑̿͊̇͗̑̄͌̒̀̆͒̓͆̉͆̔̃̿͗͗̒͊͒̀̐͆̈́͛̽̀̾̑̕͘͘̚̚͜͝͠1̴̪͓̞͍̗̩̣̰͍͚̥͝4̵̢̢̡̨̹̲̭̟̲̙̠̫̬͙̝̜̰̟̘͔̤͈͉̙̺̱͎͙̗̱̻̫̭̹̏̾̀̊̂̐̇́̈̃̂̉́̑͘͜͠n̷̢̺̟̦͕͓̭̣̫̝͚̠̖͇̹͈̦̳̩̺̮̞̬̲͇̖̝̲̓̓͛͜͜͜͜ ̵̢̪̟̪̞̘̯̻͓̭͈̯͇͚͍̱͙̗͚̞̗͇̈͐͂͐̆̎̓̌̍̀͌̏͊̍́͒͛̓͛͒́̋͋́̓̌̑̐̒̈́̀̎̏̊͘̕͘̕͘͜͝͝ͅͅ|̶̢̧̧̛̘̰͚̘͍̹͉̟͇͚̈͐́͐̅̈́̈́̓̑̿̀̀́̂̒͂͂̈́̈́̽͐̄͊̀̀̊͝͝͠͝\̴̡̳̫̌̋̌̓͛̏͌͐̆̊̒̊̈̾̋̊̑̈̀̓̋͛͑͛̋̓̒͗̄͑̓̋̀͘͘͘̚͝͠͝|̴̢̧̛̟̭̫̳̹̬̠̻͎͇̣͎̩̯̼̣̤̘̀̋̉̿̒̌͋̂̀͌̆͘͘͜͜͝͝ͅͅ3̷̡̨̜̬̦̼̳̘̠̮͚̲͙̺̻͖̘͎̥̮̿̍̉́͋̾̽͑̔͛͋̅͂͌̑̿̄͐̓͘͝͠ͅŕ̸̛̘̈́͐̀̉̉̆̓̑̏͆͂̋̀͋̿̄͋́̉͑͂̌͌͑͊̏̐̅̽͋̂͒͛̇̑̅̏̏͘͠|̷̢̡̧͓̯̘̲͎̜̩͓̩̺̺̤̖͔̺̟̜̬̲͙͍̠̺͉͈̖̯̙͙̝̥̬̬̻̭͉̰̫͖͚͙͎͓̀̓͆͗̓̏̀̏͂̎̄̅̇́͊͆̈́̕̚͜͝ͅ)̶̨̡̧̝̹̼̮̤̭̼̬̰̈́̃̈́͊̑̀̓̋̄̓͑͋͊̈́̓͋͝